Musings of Altea
by LocalTalent53
Summary: Gather round, ye youngsters, and listen to a few "heartwarming" tales of what happened after the war with Medeus. A collection of random tales. Tale One: Marth is bored, and comtemplates the possibility of a relationship. Rated T for general humor.


Well, not exactly the number one story to prioritize on now, but hey! A first in the Fire Emblem category: Marth sits around, and does absolutely nothing. All I ask is that you either read it, smile, and comment on my work or don't say anything at all. Of course, there's always the option that you read it, smile, and then tell me I suck at writing. Humor isn't my strong point, after all.

Oh, and this generally disregards most of what happens after Shadow Dragon. If you don't like, then by all means you don't have to read. Now have fun!

* * *

Musings of Altea

A collection of musings by LocalTalent53

Disclaimer: I do not own any aspects of this fan fiction. Marth, Caeda, other characters, and Fire Emblem belong to Nintendo and Intelligent Systems.

WARNING: Some aspects of story may or may not make sense (or may not even be funny, but that's not what I'm aiming for) They may even somehow be offensive (and Medeus knows what you'll do then). Do not take this story or any that come after it with any real seriousness that may pertain to any real story with any real merit. In other words, shut the hell up and enjoy. That was meant sincerely.

* * *

**I**

Love

A few genial bird calls rang out from outside castle Altea. It was quite a loving and carefree day, for only recently had the entire world been set free from Dolhr's hungering grasp. With Archanea's freedom, however, came an unexpected new challenge for the hero of the war.

As of many months afterward, Marth, Prince of Altea, sat upon his mighty throne in a completely non-princely manner, a hand holding his head up in boredom. He groaned as his hand fell asleep from cut off blood circulation.

"What is it, Sire?" Jagen, the prince's new advisor, approached with an expression of curiosity. Ever since Malledus, the previous advisor, had grown too old for his job, he was tossed out of the highest window (literally) and replaced with nearly-as-old-but-somehow-more-physically-able-and-therefore-somehow-more-capable-to-advise-the-prince Jagen. "Does something bother Your Majesty?"

Marth sighed again, though more angrily this time. "Oh, Jagen, I'm so bored now that Medeus has been destroyed."

Jagen chuckled. "Well, Sire, that is to be expected now that peace has returned to the realm, and you _are_ the prince of an entire country, after all."

"But even so," Marth countered, "I still wish there was something to enlighten these days where merriment is few and boredom reigns supreme." He turned to his aged advisor. Really- one could see wrinkles _growing_ on his face.

The advisor put thought to mind. A difficult task. "Well, Sire, you could always entertain your love interests. Many kings, queens, and even princes do so."

"True," Marth admitted, "but the last relationship I went into was with Caeda, and that…that didn't work out so well."

In truth, after defeating the Shadow Dragon, Marth confessed his love for Caeda, although he regretted it afterward. Unfortunately for him, Caeda turned out to be one of those…_obsessive_ girlfriends. In fact, Marth now pondered their month together…

_"Marth!" came the demanding voice of the Pegasus knight. "Where in Altea ARE YOU?!"_

_"What are you yelling about, Caeda?" Marth's cool reply followed as he entered the main entryway of the castle. "Is there something wrong?"_

_Caeda scurried over, a look of anger upon her face. "Where WERE you? You disappeared for TWO days! Where have you gone too?!"_

_"Relax, Caeda," Marth assured her, "I told you three days ago I would be leaving for an embassy meeting with Macedon-"_

_"OH, I SEE, then!" She turned her body away from him, pondering something, then turning back in fury. "SHE was there, wasn't she? Marth! I know she was there!"_

_"What are you talking about, Caeda?" The prince was now utterly confused._

_"You were staring at that MINERVA princess again, weren't you? WEREN'T YOU?!"_

_"I don't understand what you're-"_

_"Oh, Marth!" She burst out crying. "I don't know what to say! How could you? You've been seeing her, haven't you?"_

_As he calmed her down ("Don't worry, she never really interacted with me! I swear!"), all Marth could wonder was, **When have I ever stared at Minerva… ever?**_

And then there was that other time about privacy…

_"…and that's why you CAN'T leave me be for five minutes!" Caeda finished as they crossed through the flower garden. Marth sighed in relief, the lecture finally over. They had been a couple for only two weeks, and here she was, wanting all up in his personal space._

_"Can I have my alone time every now and then?" Marth asked. "After all, I do need my personal space."_

_"Personal space," she responded, snuggling up so close to him it was almost uncomfortable, "is for singles. I like this much better. You know, we should be like this for all of our lives. Together, inseparable." She and Marth sighed, though for completely different reasons…_

_"Hey, you two," came Abel's clear voice as he approached the 'lovebirds'. "Sire, I have the report." As he began to hand Marth the report on the state of a few nearby towns, Caeda hissed and slapped his hand away. "Ouch! What'd you do that for?"_

_"Don't you DARE attempt to hit on my Mar-Mar!" With a screech, she tackled Abel and began to hurt him like he'd never been hurt before. "DIE!"_

_"Ah! My spine! Oh, Medeus, please, kill me and save me from this torture!" Marth would have aided the paladin as his spine and other organs were twisted and tortured, but his mind was blank._

_**…Mar-Mar?!**_

And then there was that one time…ALSO about privacy…

_Marth sighed as he settled into his large, prince-worthy bed. Tonight, on this princely night, he would earn himself some princely sleep…on his princely bed-_

_"Hey, sweetheart!" Caeda exclaimed, her head popping up from under the now not-so-princely covers to his left._

_Marth nearly screamed, but he did blink four times in quick succession before responding. "Caeda…**what** are you doing in my bed?!"_

_His girlfriend of one month shrugged. "Sleeping here…why? I live here now, so it doesn't matter, right?"_

_"Uh…sure…" He tried to settle in, but found it uncomfortable for some reason. He wondered why, and it wasn't until he peeked under the covers that he saw…_

_"You're **naked?!**" He jumped up, and if it wasn't for the fact that she had grabbed his arm, he would have bolted out of there immediately._

_"Yeah, of course," she replied, as if it made no impact on the situation. "I always sleep without any clothes on when I'm at the castle, so it's fine, right?"_

_Marth, however, was faced with a decision. **Should I demand her to put clothes on, thus hurting her feelings, or should I suck up like a man and lay there, despite the fact that I'm sixteen, we're not married, and my older sister might check up on me? **He did not add the fact that any man in Altea would want to sleep in a bed next to a naked Caeda into his decision._

_However, after a long consideration, he sighed. "Yeah…" Sucking up like a real man, he coaxed himself back in the covers, but made sure to turn away and not look. He flinched when she tapped his shoulder._

_"Hey, should we invite a servant in as well?" she asked. "I always have a servant share the bed with me every night as well. It makes me more comfortable."_

_Needless to say, that was last time the prince of Altea shared a bed with anyone…and it was the first time he ever was quite afraid to sleep in his own bed._

Marth returned to reality, shuddering. "My apologies…bad thoughts. Now, where were we? Something about relationships?"

"Yes, well, as I was saying earlier, Sire, perhaps you should open your options to a new noble woman?"

The prince considered Jagen's words. "Again, I highly doubt anything would work out, but there are options…"

"Might I summon anyone else to aid you, Marth?" Jagen offered. "Like, Sir Cain, for example?"

"Hmm…it could work. Please do so, Jagen."

* * *

Jagen did not return, although Cain did enter as requested. He approached and bowed before Marth. "How may I be of service, Milord?"

"Yes, Cain, well, I'd like you to help me on the predicament of love. I need to know your suggestion of a future companion. Or, in simpler terms, wife and queen."

"Hmm, Sire, I'd have to be honest and say that there are a lot of choices…where to begin…

"I might suggest Linde from Khadein; she has wonderful magic skills, and she may look quite appealing in that single one piece attire…and don't forget the feet…feet are important to one's qualities-"

"I don't know what you're going on about, Cain, but I honestly see nothing in her. She's just not my type."

Cain reconsidered. "Hmm. Then how about Palla, Catria, or Est? They're all very beautiful, they're nobility, and from what I've heard, they're single-"

"No, no, and no," Marth responded. From last _he'd_ heard, Est was off and married to someone…or something like that… Catria, on the other hand, had blue hair. That just wasn't all that appealing. _Honestly, blue hair is atrocious,_ he thought. _I'd be caught dead with hair that shade._ And Palla…no. He'd just decided on a whim he would never undergo a relationship with a Pegasus knight ever again. "Anyone else?"

"Well, there's also Lena? Or the princesses of Macedon?"

Marth sighed. "Maria is too young, Minerva has absolutely no interest in me, and isn't Lena bound to helping people in Macedon? Try again."

"Well, then, how about Midia? Or Nyna? After all, she's a pretty attractive empress, isn't she?"

"Nyna's married, Cain. And Midia's got Astram."

"Oh, well, how 'bout Tiki?"

Marth slapped his forehead. "Too young. Try again."

Cain thought about it. "Well, there's always Princess Elice, right? Doesn't she already live here for whatever reason? And I think you two would look perfect together. Haven't seen her feet, though. Hmm…"

"She's my sister."

Cain went silent. He then mouthed "oh." The throne room was then quiet. "You know, I've served this kingdom for years, and fought under your father, but I had no idea you had a sister…"

_Shows what you know,_ Marth thought to himself. "Anyone _else_ you can name off?"

Cain then slapped his forehead. "I'm being rather weak minded! The best choice is Princess Caeda of Talys-"

"_**NO!**_"

The knight flinched. "Alright, alright, then. Anyway, that's pretty much everyone. Take your pick. By your leave, Sire." With that, Cain exited the room, leaving the thoughts to Marth.

"Hmm…" the prince pondered for a moment. "My choices suck."


End file.
